Perspective

I have been fortunate in my life to meet many amazing people and blessed to call some of them friends.  When I say amazing people, i don't mean celebrities or politicians, nationally or internationally known names- i mean men and women who are kind, loving, work hard, and have faced unbelievable personal struggles without it affecting their overall view that the world is good.  These people inspire me and motivate me on a daily basis without even knowing it!

Let's take a look at my friend list on facebook...there are people on this list that have lost children, champion causes for their disabled children, have lost loved ones at the hands of unspeakable crimes, have lost loved ones due to long and debilitating illnesses, are single parents holding it together, have faced their own personal illnesses- some winning their battles, and some unfortunately gone too soon.  These and so many other personal and private struggles could have destroyed the people that i'm lucky enough to call friends, but miraculously, they still wake up and see the good in the world around them!

Now I'm not saying you have to overcome some life-altering hardship to be an amazing person, or even a good person- b/c that's not true!  There are many good people who live seemingly charmed lives and i'm just as in awe of them.  But to have experienced something difficult, or even devastating, and come out on the other side takes a special person.  Now coming out on the other side doesn't mean that your experience didn't change you- b/c that would be impossible!  Every experience in our lives, good or bad, leaves its mark and in some way changes us.  I guess it's the grace and poise with which we handle such experiences and what we choose to do with our new 'insight' on the back end that is what's so impressive!

For example, i have a friend who started a charitable foundation in his daughter's name so that other babies would get the intensive care they need regardless of their ability to pay.  I have a friend who is a cancer survivor who brings attention to the cause at every opportunity.  My friends fundraise, donate, speak, organize and all around make this world a better place- using their hardships as a springboard for action, discussion, and hope.  And i could not be more proud of them!

But there are also a few people on my friend list who i am truly tempted to 'un-friend' b/c i find their status updates so trivial, desperate, and annoying!  I'm sure you can relate!  And let's be real- i'm not looking to facebook as my world news, i don't want to be depressed or awe struck every time i log in.  I want to hear about the funny thing that your kid said, the annoying thing your coworker did, the embarrassing dance you did while intoxicated in front of your in-laws...these are not trivial, these are distractions!  And yes, they are fun!  What i'm talking about are the people that have seemingly lost any sense of perspective and post such offensive things as, 'won't i ever get a break?!?  my kid has an ear infection!  life is so unfair!'  or 'please pray for us, my kid has a runny nose' or 'i stained my favorite shirt, does it get any worse!?!'....i think you get the idea!

And please don't mistake my annoyance- i do care that your kid has an ear infection and/or runny nose and of course it sucks that you stained your favorite shirt, and feel free to update me on these and many other events!  These are things that everyone can relate to- as well as the dog vomiting, car breaking down, kid throwing a tantrum in crowded store, etc!  Just please don't over dramatize the situation!  No one wants to hear about your hangnail when the person next to you is hemorrhaging!  And if your kid having an ear infection truly is the worst thing you've dealt with- consider yourself lucky!  And i have certainly offered up many a prayer for people based on their facebook status- but with all the suffering and truly important issues in the world, if you're asking for a prayer, please be sure it warrants god's attention and is not something that your pediatrician can fix with simple antibiotics or your mechanic can repair with...well anything!  And if it's something replaceable- clothes, purse, car, jewelry, etc- please know that i will NOT be praying for it!

Now this post may be offensive to some- and for that, i'm sorry.  I wouldn't wish these life changing experiences on my worst enemies (if i had any!) so i certainly don't feel that you need to have one to understand!  But i guess MY perspective is changed after our experiences with Nicholas and in those experiences and tears i've shared with friends and family over the years!  It saddens me that so many people lose site of the things they should be truly grateful for!  So next time that it's tempting to complain about the unfairness of life i ask you two favors- 1) know your audience (which in the case of facebook is broad and all-encompassing) and 2) try and keep it in perspective!  Remember, we've been told since childhood that life isn't fair, and unfortunately some know that better than others!