The Terrible Two's

AGGHHHH!!!  Ok, just had to get that out of my system!  I'm sure I'm not alone in my frustration when it comes to dealing with a difficult toddler...but sometimes it sure seems that way!

Yesterday was a very disappointing day in our house- Nicholas got his first incident report in which he was not the victim, but rather the offender.  He bit a friend at school!!!  Not hit- which by no stretch of the imagination is ok either (but a step above on the ladder of tolerable offenses!)- BIT!  He has never bit anyone or anything prior to yesterday...although he has been munched on quite a few times.  So some might say he's just getting his revenge.  Alex and I however do not take such a 'survival of the fittest' approach and were appalled by this new, unacceptable behavior!

Sure, we've been dealing with the screaming, the tantruming, some hitting, and previously we had head banging (thank god that seems to have passed!)- but now we seem to be functioning on all evil cylinders.  Yes means no, up is down, good is bad...you get the idea.  Nothing seems to be working!  And when my sweet little boy does make an appearance, we go from pleasant to satan's screaming spawn in 0.2 seconds without any apparent provacation!  School drop off is again miserable- screaming at the top of his lungs.  But when it's time to come home from school he doesn't want to do that either...he'd rather stay and play with his friends and teachers.  Meal times are a challenge (to put it mildly!) since my son happens to be a bottomless pit and would eat until he literally exploded if given the chance.  Making this more difficult is the fact that he's a chunky monkey and Alex and I have the daunting task of regulating portion size (since he rarely eats food that isn't good for him, changing the diet isn't an option!)  He sits in his chair asking for more of everything he has in his vocabulary- chicken, potatoes, rice, broccoli, apples, pudding, cookies, noodles, etc- and then has an epic meltdown when told that a) the meal is over or b) we don't eat pudding/cookies/brownies for breakfast. 

And then there are the bedtime issues- we don't want to put our jammies on at night but we scream bloody murder when we have to take them off in the morning!  I'm tempted to send him to school in his Elmo jammies b/c it doesn't seem worth the fight!  And when it comes time to actually lie down and go to sleep, all hell breaks loose!  I'm waiting for Child Protective Services to show up some night (always between 8:15-9pm) to determine what exactly we're doing to torture our child!  The neighbors must wonder what in the world is going on!  On the one hand, it's the cutest thing ever when he says, 'no night-night, I cuddle with mommy' but we have never let Nicholas sleep with us and we're not about to start now with a newborn arriving any day!  So we play the role of worst parents in the world and take him up to his room at the appointed time and let him scream it out for the neighborhood to hear.

I've read the articles on tantrums, and I understand that this is all an exercise in pushing limits, exploring freedom, and frustration between level of understanding and ability to express...but regardless the reason or cause, there are days that just absolutely challenge my ability to maintain control!  He alternates between kind and loving and then just as quickly is bossy and demanding.  Everything is 'NO' or 'MINE'...and I imagine this is only going to get worse as we prepare to bring his sister home.  And don't get me wrong, I do sympathize with him and all the changes he has had recently- I've been on bedrest and unable to play or take care of him, grandparents have been in and out- trying to pick up the slack on the parenting role, half of his teaching team at school (which we all absolutely adored!) left after the New Year and there has been a revolving door of substitutes as they try and fill the position.  (And honestly, if we find it this frustrating with 1 toddler I can't imagine how his saint of a teacher deals with 10 of them every day!)  But changes don't excuse bad or even worse, aggressive behavior!

And to be honest, this new behavior bothers me not only b/c it's inappropriate but b/c I feel it reflects poorly on me as a parent.  I know this should be the least of my concerns, but it's the truth!  As he's throwing himself on the ground in the parking lot at school, you can almost feel the looks of pity or disapproval from the other parents, you know- the ones who have it all together and have never had to deal with such a thing!  I vow I will never look at a parent that way...b/c not only is it condescending, it's crap!  I can't imagine that there's a parent out there who hasn't had to deal with a similar situation...so why act like it?!?  And in the long run, I know that this stage of his does not make me a bad parent...I'd be a bad parent if the biting, hitting, and screaming didn't bother me.  But I'm certainly looking forward to the reappearance of my sweet, kind, peaceful little man...whenever that may be!